Chapter Twelve
And then her mind takes off – back to the previous night – back to that kiss and so many others…
She shakes off the thoughts and resumes writing.
But her mind seems to have a mind of its own.
“Damn it, Sonny…”
Kristina walks down the stairs into the living room and spots a fully-dressed Alexis sitting at the table, wearing glasses and pouring over the two open volumes on the table in front of her.
“Well, good morning,” Kristina greets. “You’re up early…”
“I have an early appointment in judge’s chambers,” Alexis answers without looking up. “Good morning.”
“Have you eaten anything?”
“I forced down some oatmeal,” Alexis answers. “I hate oatmeal…”
“It’s good for the baby.”
“That’s what I was thinking,” Alexis says. “That’s why I forced it down.
Kristina continues into the kitchen.
“So how are things with you and Sonny?” she calls.
“What?”
“I said,” Kristina begins before walking out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand, “how are things with you and Sonny?”
Alexis stops writing and looks up at her.
“Please don’t ask me that.”
“Uh oh,” Kristina says. “What have I missed?”
“Oh, Mike Corbin being grandfathery…”
“And Sonny?”
“And Sonny…being Sonny…”
Kristina laughs.
“Alexis, you’re pregnant with his baby. What did you expect?”
“I don’t know,” Alexis says. “I don’t know what I expected but…I don’t think it was this…
“This?”
“Yes – Sonny checking up on my eating habits, having me guarded at each and every turn…
“Who is it today?”
“Johnny, I think…”
“Sonny loves you, Alexis. He just wants to make sure that you and the baby are okay. So what else is he doing that’s got you so nervous?”
“I wouldn’t say that I’m nervous,” Alexis protests. “And I’m not nervous. Not…nervous at all. I am simply…weighing my options…”
“Spoken like a true attorney,” Kristina teases. “What has he done now?”
“He…wants us to start all over again…”
“Well, that’s great, isn’t it?”
“Is it? I’m not sure…”
“Oh, Alexis,” Kristina mutters as she pulls out a chair and sits at the table. “Why not?”
“Because…he only asking this because I’m pregnant.”
“And was this a surprise? I mean honestly, Alexis. You’ve told me yourself how incredibly provincial Sonny can be. It shouldn’t really surprise you that he wants you and him and the baby to be one big happy family. I’m surprised that he hasn’t proposed…”
“Don’t even finish that thought,” Alexis interrupts. “I could never marry a man like Sonny – never…”
“Why not?”
“You mean aside from the obvious?”
“Look Alexis,” Kristina begins, “I’m not saying that Sonny is what I’d consider to be…a family man…But I have seen how much you mean to him – how much he cares for you…and I can just imagine how much he loves the baby that you’re carrying…And you love him…”
Alexis puts down her pencil and closes the book in front of her.
“Not that that is in any way pertinent to the discussion at hand,” she says, “but if love was enough then Sonny would still be married to Carly.”
Kristina places a hand on top of Alexis’ hand.
“But you do love him, Alexis. Now I know how uncomfortable something like that is for you to discuss but…it is true. Sonny Corinthos is a man with a truly infamous reputation. Ned and Jax say that he’s a mobster. As a matter of fact, everybody in Port Charles says that he’s a mobster…”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is that Sonny has a number of very unappealing character traits and an incredibly negative reputation…but he is also a man who is capable of great love – which I can see in the way that he loves you…and you’re expecting a baby with him…and I should think that it must be wonderful to have a man who loves you enough…to want to be with you and to have a family with you…”
“Yes, well that all sounds very nice,” Alexis says. “But the fact remains that all of this has happened simply because I am pregnant or, more to the point, because I happened to become pregnant – not by design…but by carelessness and a lack of responsible behavior on both our parts…Now, that really doesn’t sound very much like The Donna Reed Show or Father Knows Best, does it?”
“But none of that really matters, does it?” Kristina asks. “All that really matters…is that Sonny loves you…and you love him and, together, you will love this baby…That’s what’s really important, isn’t it?”
“I’m not…good at this,” Alexis says. “I’m not good with relationships. If I think about it too much, I never find anyone who measures up and whenever I just…let myself go…”
Kristina laughs.
“Oh, I’d be willing to bet that Sonny Corinthos was a ‘let-yourself-go’ situation, wasn’t he?”
“Very funny,” Alexis says as she stands. She begins to pace. “All I know is that…I’m thirty-five years old…and I never planned to have children…and now, here I am – pregnant…by a man…with a very complicated life…I mean what on earth am I doing in this situation? Up to now, each and every thing in my life has been meticulously planned with a cool, clear, and detached mind -- with very definite goals and intentions…And now this…”
“Sometimes…sometimes things happen to you – good things – wonderful things…and they’re not planned. I mean you are going to have a baby, Alexis – a brand new life is inside of you right now…And it’ll probably be this beautiful, dark-haired baby…with an iron will…and these incredible dimples…And you will love this baby so much – if you don’t already…and so will Sonny…”
Alexis sits back down in the chair.
“So when did you become such a big fan of Sonny?”
“I’m not a fan of Sonny,” Kristina insists. “I still think that he’s condescending and impatient and selfish and way, way, way too full of himself…But I am a huge fan of my big sister…and he loves you…and I can’t help respecting him for that…Look Alexis…when two people feel about each other the way that you both obviously do…does it really matter what brings you together…as long as you actually end up together?”
Alexis stops to consider Kristina’s words for a moment before glancing at her wristwatch.
“I’d better get going,” she says before standing. “Thank you, Kristina. You’ve…argued a good case…”
“I should be able to,” Kristina says. “I learned how from my beautiful big sister!”
Alexis smiles, walks over, and gently kisses her cheek.
“And now,” Alexis says as she hurries over and gathers her pad and an open folder full of papers lying next to it, “I’d better get going before Judge Boyle holds me in contempt!”
“You’d better get going then,” Kristina says. “And Sonny?”
“I…told him that I would think about it,” Alexis answers. “And that’s what I will do. I’ll think about it – all of it…Now Johnny and I had better get out of here before we’re late!”
___________________________________________________________________
Kristina sits at the desk in the L&B Records offices, going through file after file – keeping what she thinks is important and discarding everything else.
Ned walks into the office but Kristina doesn’t look up.
“You know,” he begins, “you haven’t said a word to me since you got here…”
“I’ve been busy filing.”
“Kristina,” Ned says as he pulls up a chair, “talk to me.”
“I don’t really have anything to say to you, Ned – not after the things you said to Alexis last night…”
“I just said what you and Jax were thinking – that I couldn’t believe that she would actually allow herself to get pregnant by Sonny Corinthos of all people…”
“And I told you before that Alexis has deep feelings for Sonny and that you were going to have to get used to the idea of him in her life…But you obviously haven’t, have you?”
“She has already been shot because of him,” Ned says. “How much more are we willing to watch her go through before she figures out what a mistake she’s making?”
“Look Ned,” Kristina begins as she throws a file down on top of the desk, “Alexis loves Sonny, okay? Now I don’t especially like it either, but at least I respect her right to make her own decisions…Just let it go, okay?”
“I’m…letting it go,” he says. “Besides she’s pregnant. The damage has already been done. She’ll be tied to Sonny for the rest of her life now…”
Kristina stands up.
“Well, maybe that’s exactly where she wants to be,” she says.
___________________________________________________________________
There’s a knock at Jax’s door.
“Just a minute,” he calls as he goes to answer it. He opens the door to find Alexis standing there – attaché case in hand – and a familiar male face not far behind her.
“Well, hello,” he says, eyeing the man suspiciously.
“Hi,” she says, noticing the look on Jax’s face. “Oh, that’s just Johnny. He’s my chaperone for the day. Am I interrupting anything?”
“Of course not,” Jax answers. “Just checking the stock prices. Come in.”
“Thank you,” Alexis says as she walks into the apartment. “So…where’s Skye?”
Jax laughs.
“I know you don’t really like Skye…”
“And you don’t like Sonny,” Alexis says. “So we’re even, I guess.”
“I guess…So what’s on your mind, Alexis?”
“Why must there be something on my mind? Couldn’t I simply have…dropped by – just to say hello?”
“Well, of course you could have but…I suspect that you haven’t…”
“Oh, you suspect that, do you?”
“What is it?” Jax asks.
Alexis begins to pace.
“What’s your honest take…on what’s happened?” she asks.
“You mean how do I feel about you being pregnant with Corinthos’ baby?”
“Well, that is the long and short of it…”
“Alexis,” Jax begins, “if you’re happy about it, then I’m happy for you.”
“So you weren’t thinking all those things that Ned mentioned?”
“Well…”
“You can be completely honest with me,” Alexis interrupts. “After all, I know how you feel about Sonny…”
“I have no use for Corinthos – that’s no secret. Still…four women that I’ve respected have cared for the man – Ned’s ex-wife Lois, Sonny’s late wife Lily, Brenda, and now you. Now, I don’t see it but…that has to say something positive about him – regardless of what I happen to think of him personally…”
“He’s a good man, Jax,” Alexis says. “He’s…complicated…and he can be…somewhat difficult at times – quite often, actually…But he does have a good heart – just like you…”
“Do you have to compare me to Corinthos?”
“Sorry,” Alexis says. “It’s just that I happen to know you rather well…and I also happen to know Sonny well…”
Jax stares at Alexis, sensing something else.
“What else is on your mind, Alexis?” he asks.
“I’m going to have a baby,” she blurts, somewhat incredulously. “I never…thought this would happen -- ever…I think I’m still in shock…”
“That’s totally understandable,” Jax says. “You’re going to be someone’s mother.”
“My God,” Alexis begins, “this poor child. I mean I am totally clueless when it comes to children in general. They always…stare at me without ever saying anything…”
Jax laughs.
“Well, I’m sure that your little boy or girl won’t have that problem…”
“And you have to feed them, don’t you?”
“Generally speaking…”
“And I can’t cook. There now, you see that? I’m hopeless. Do you know that I actually managed to burn coffee in a cappuccino machine? This poor kid will starve to death…”
“Ah, but you can always order in…”
“Well, that’s true…And Kristina cooks and Sonny cooks…”
“And how does Sonny feel about impending fatherhood?”
“As if he has to take control – as always…Actually…he has been pretty great. Just the other day, he made this elaborate breakfast for me and he showed up at the hospital when I had my first pre-natal appointment…He’s protecting the baby and me…and sooner or later I’m going to want to throttle him for it…”
“I take it he’s a little over-protective…”
“Did I introduce you to Johnny? He works for Sonny…”
“Very protective,” Jax says. “Well, you can’t really blame him for that, Alexis. You are just getting over being shot…”
“I don’t believe it,” Alexis mutters. “Nagging in stereo…”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Alexis says. “I don’t need a bodyguard. Why won’t he see that?”
“He wants to make certain that you’re safe…He must be excited about the baby…”
Alexis thinks about it for a moment.
“He is positively thrilled…”
“Well, for what it’s worth…I watched him when you were in the hospital and we didn’t know whether or not you would be alright…Sonny was…anxious with worry – that was clear…but he was also focused and under control. He never lost it with Ned or Kristina when they started yelling at him to get out of there. Instead he just kept to himself until we knew that you would be alright…And I have to admit…that I really believe Sonny loves you, Alexis – a lot more than I thought…”
“That may not necessarily be enough…”
“Look,” Jax begins, “I know you, Alexis. You wouldn’t be involved in a relationship with a man like Corinthos if you didn’t see some good in him…How you feel about him...is up to you. It’s your decision. If you believe that he can make you happy…then you shouldn’t listen to anything that Ned or Kristina or I or anyone else has to say about it. You should only listen to whatever your heart is telling you.”
“Believe me,” Alexis begins as she continues to pace, “…that’s exactly what I’m trying to do…”
___________________________________________________________________
Sonny sits alone in his warehouse office, facing the window, staring at the blinds. The payroll checks have already been signed and are being distributed as he sits there. That was his main reason for coming to the office on this afternoon.
Now what, he thinks. I could go home. Alexis might be at home now. Maybe…
Sonny squeezes his eyes tight and shakes his head.
She said that she would think about it, he reminds himself. And, right now, the best thing for me to do…would be to just hang back…and let her…
His mind flashes on their kiss from the night before. He hadn’t meant to kiss her the way he did. It’s just that at that precise moment – feeling everything that he was feeling – kissing Alexis seemed like the only thing to do – the only thing that he wanted to do – the passion that he felt for her clearly on the rise.
I miss having her with me, he thinks. For the past couple of years, Alexis has always been there by my side – whenever I’ve needed her. Now there’s this distance between us…and it’s killin' me – especially now that she’s havin’ this baby…
There’s a knock at the partially open door.
Sonny turns toward the sound.
“Yeah?” he calls just as Alexis peeks her head around the door.
“If this is a bad time,” she begins, “I can…catch up with you later…”
“No,” he answers quickly – before she can leave. He stands. “It’s not a bad time. Come in…Have a seat.”
“Thank you,” she says. She walks in and sits down. “So…how are you?”
“Uh, I’m good,” Sonny answers as he sits back down. “What about you? You feelin’ okay?”
“I’m…fine. A little queasy but…fine overall. Oh and don’t worry. Johnny’s right outside…”
“Good. So…what’s up?”
“I…was in court today – actually this morning -- and…I was on my way home and I thought I’d…stop by.”
“I see. And?”
“And…here I sit…
“No,” Sonny says. “There’s somethin’ on your mind, Alexis. What is it?”
“What is what?” Alexis asks as she shoots to her feet. She paces away from the desk and then back. “It’s just that there’s a lot happening to me right now and I think that I’m…having a little trouble processing everything…”
“Oh…Maybe…maybe you’re tired. You’re probably doing too much. Maybe you should go home and get some rest…”
“Please don’t tell me what to do.”
“I’m not tellin’ you what to do,” Sonny insists. “I’m making a suggestion. You can take it or leave it, Alexis – it’s your choice…”
Alexis stares at him for a moment before sitting back in the chair.
“What’s your real reason for wanting us back together?” she asks.
“My real reason?”
“Yes – your real reason. I mean is it because of the baby, is it because you have legal work that you need me to do…”
“Legal work? Well, I always have legal work that needs to be done but…that wasn’t why I asked…”
“And what was?”
“Uh, I asked because I love you…”
“And that’s the only reason?”
“Well no, it’s not the only reason…”
“It’s because of the baby, isn’t it?”
“Of course it’s because of the baby,” Sonny repeats. “What’s so wrong with that? It’s not like I only want you because you're pregnant.”
“But…”
“Alexis,” Sonny begins calmly, “I want you back…because I love you and I miss havin’ you in my life. You just happen to be pregnant, too…”
Alexis takes a deep breath and squirms in her chair.
“I’m…”
“What?”
“I’m getting to it!” Alexis blurts. “I’m…afraid…”
“Afraid of what?”
“I’m afraid of…my feelings for you…I don’t know if I can handle being hurt again…”
“I’d never do that.”
“You did it once already.
“I know…I wanted to keep you safe – because I love you…and I…didn’t want to lose you…”
“So you pushed me away – because you didn’t want to lose me?”
“Alexis,” Sonny begins, “…I didn’t want you to get hurt again because of the choices that I’ve made in my life…But I love you…and I love this baby – more than you’ll ever know…And I want you back…”
Alexis stares across the desk into Sonny’s eyes and feels herself being pulled in once again.
She stands up quickly.
“This is insane, you know,” she says. “You’re a criminal and I’m an officer of the court. There is no way that I should be pregnant with your child…”
Sonny shrugs.
“Sometimes things just…happen…”
“And I want you to know that it was never my intention to become pregnant. I’m sure that Carly said that I did it on purpose but I didn’t. It was an accident. I mean it was rather a…happy accident, I guess…but it was an accident nonetheless.”
“I know, I know. We were...careless while you were stayin’ with me. We probably should have taken things a little more…slowly…But I’m glad we didn’t. If we had…you wouldn’t have our baby inside of you right now…”
Their eyes connect. Alexis relaxes.
“So,” she begins, “…what happens now?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “I could take you to dinner…”
She turns up her nose.
“I don’t think so…”
“Okay then, what do you suggest?”
“Home?” she asks. “Can we just…go home?”
“Home’s good…” He stands and walks around the desk to where she is. “You look tired.”
“I sort of am, I guess…” She looks into his eyes. “Please tell me that it’ll work this time…”
Sonny pulls her into his arms and holds her close for a moment.
“We’re gonna be okay this time,” he says quietly. “I promise.”
He feels Alexis’ head lightly touch down on his shoulder as her arms wrap around him.
He breathes deeply and exhales.
He pulls back slightly. She raises her head.
Their eyes meet once again.
They kiss gently.
Sonny lets her go, takes a step back, and holds out his hand.
“Let’s go home,” he says.
Alexis puts her hand in his.
“That would be nice,” she says.