a fanfic by SonnyandAlexisGal
Chapter Eight
He puts down the page that he has been reading.
“Sure,” he says. “Have a seat.”
“I’d rather stand, I think…”
“Sounds serious.”
“It is.”
Sonny shrugs.
“What’s up?” he asks.
“I don’t…know how to get into this with you…except to tell you that…I’ve decided to move out.”
Her words cause Sonny to pause for a moment. He has heard this from her before.
“I see,” he says quietly as his heart begins to pound. “And when did you decide this – before or after we…made love last night?”
“Actually,” she begins, side-stepping his pointed comment, “I’ve been…thinking about it for awhile now…I think that it’s…the best thing for me to do.”
“Alexis,” Sonny begins as patiently as he can, “I will deal with what’s happening…and I will keep you safe – you and the baby.”
Alexis shakes her head no.
“This is not what I want for my baby, Sonny…”
“Alexis, I will handle it,” Sonny counters. “I will do everything in my power…to keep you and our baby safe. I swear it.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Alexis asks. “Don’t you think that I know that you would give everything that you have to keep us safe – just as I know that you would give everything that you have…if Ryan hadn’t been killed? But…you cannot control everything, Sonny. No one can.”
“And so you think that the solution is for you to…to move yourself outta here…and to take my child away?”
“Don’t you know how hard it is for me to say these things to you?” Alexis pleads, the tears forming in her eyes. “Sonny…I love you – with all my heart. I’m not supposed to love you. I’m not even supposed to be your friend…but I love you…and I don’t know how that happened or exactly when…but I do love you so much…And if I only had me to think about, I would be by your side to the bitter end. You know that…But I’m trying to put my baby first…and I have to keep my baby safe.”
“You keep saying ‘my baby’,” he manages, holding himself together as his eyes begin to mist. “But she’s my baby, too…and I need her in my life, Alexis. I need both of you. You can’t, you know…just walk into my life...and become somebody that makes a difference…and just…sail outta my life the way that you came in...”
“Sonny,” Alexis begins, “this isn’t about you and it isn’t about me. What’s best for this baby - our baby – has to come first…I don’t want her to grow up always looking over her shoulder or having to live her life, surrounded by bodyguards or…bullet-proof glass or turf wars. I want this baby to have a normal life – friends and the playground and sleepovers and dates – everything that a normal child has.”
“What about love, Alexis? What about two loving parents? That’s gotta count for something. This child has a mother and a father who want to give her everything in the world. Now you didn’t have that. And I sure as hell didn’t have that…and I know that we both grew up wondering what it would’ve felt like if we had. This baby will never have to grow up watchin’ people livin’ like that around her and prayin’ that some how…her life will be like that some day…because it’ll be real.”
“So what are you saying? Are you saying that because she’ll have a mother and a father, her safety is unimportant?”
“Of course not! What I’m sayin’ is that…family is also important and you and this baby are my family…and I will keep my family safe – whatever it takes.”
“Whatever it takes?” Alexis repeats. “And what will that be, Sonny – exactly? Will you have to…get rid of Lundine…the same way that he’s trying to get rid of you?”
“I don’t discuss…how I conduct my business, Alexis. You know that.”
“Yes, I know that. You never tell me anything incriminating because I am an officer of the court…and if I knew of a crime about to be committed, I would be obligated to report that crime to the proper authorities…But I know that there’s a dark side to your so-called business…and I understand that people die all the time doing that business…And I understand that someone has decided that this will be your time to die…and that, in order to survive, you will likely have to…fight fire with fire, for want of a better phrase…And I understand that all it really is is people trying to kill each other…And I will not have my baby living under those conditions. You chose it, Sonny…This baby didn’t…and neither did I…”
“You have always known who and what I am, Alexis. I never once…pretended to be anything else. This is my life. You’ve lived next door to me for two and a half years and you fought for me in court, knowing what I do for a living. Don’t try to pretend that you’ve been an innocent bystander all this time…because you haven’t been…”
“I never said that.”
“And you knew who and what I was…when we took this relationship to the next level…and made the baby that you’re carryin’ around inside you…”
“Fine,” Alexis interrupts. “Yes, I knew who and what you were when I agreed to represent you. Yes, I knew who and what you were when we made love. But this baby didn’t choose to live this life, Sonny – a life where each and every decision you make must be meticulously plotted and thought out because the price to be paid for one mistake could be your life or the life of someone close to you…I know that you would do everything that you possibly could to control the situation but you cannot control everything, Sonny. You cannot possibly anticipate each and every plan that this madman hatches to come after you...”
“I will deal with Lundine,” Sonny insists, beginning to pace.
“And what about the next time? Or the time after that or the time after that?” Alexis asks.
“I’ll handle that, too.”
“You don’t know that!” Alexis exclaims. “And you won’t know until that someone actually makes a move against you. And you and I both know that it won’t stop with Lundine any more than it stopped with Moreno, any more than it stopped with Sorel. There will always be someone else.”
“I won’t lose my child, Alexis,” he quietly states.
“So what does that mean to you, exactly – the fact that this is your child? Does it mean that this baby is your property or something – that you want to…own this baby so much that you don’t care whether or not you’re putting its life in danger? What happens if the next bomb explodes…and the baby’s in the car, Sonny? What if…what if the baby is going to or coming from the pediatrician and the car that she’s riding in explodes because someone else decides that they want to see you dead and picks that moment to make it happen? I wouldn’t want to live anymore…and neither would you…Is claiming this baby worth that to you?”
“I protect my family, Alexis,” he insists. “I take care of my family…and I will take care of my child…and keep her safe.”
“How, Sonny? How will you do that – by killing Lundine before he can kill you? Will whatever you do be something that you wouldn’t be ashamed to have your child know about?”
Sonny doesn’t answer.
Alexis inhales deeply and exhales, trying to collect her thoughts.
“Look,” she begins, “you told me yourself what this life has cost you up to now. I mean can you really be arrogant enough not to understand how unfair you’re being – how selfish?”
“If it’s selfish for me to want to know my own child then, you know…whatever…”
“Sonny,” Alexis begins, feeling the walls go up between them and seeing the pain in his eyes, “please don’t shut down on me – not now. You have to listen to me and you have to understand that I am only trying to do what is best for our unborn child…”
He stops pacing and faces her.
“I love you, Alexis…and I love the child that’s a part of the two of us…And I won’t, you know…I won’t apologize for that…”
Alexis takes a deep breath.
“Then do what’s best for this baby…and let her go.”
Sonny shakes his head no and resumes pacing.
“Never,” he calmly states.
“Sonny…”
“Never!” he yells. He stops pacing and looks across at her – his eyes seeming to burn a hole into hers. “You will not take my child, Alexis.”
Alexis recognizes the fire that she sees in his eyes – the look of stubborn determination that she has seen so many times before. In exasperation, she turns and walks to the front door. She pulls open the door, steps out into the hallway past Max, slamming the door behind her. She continues toward her apartment door and hears Sonny’s door opening behind her.
“I mean it, Alexis!” he calls after her.
She opens the door to her apartment, steps in, and slams the door.
Once inside, Alexis paces back and forth, trying to stop shaking – sad and angry tears falling from her eyes.
“Alexis?” Kristina begins as she comes walking out of the kitchen. “I heard the door slam. I take it Sonny wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of you leaving.”
Alexis shakes her head no and continues to pace.
“He won’t listen,” she manages. “He will not listen to reason...”
“So what are you going to do?”
Alexis takes a deep breath and stops pacing.
“I’m going to protect my baby,” she answers, “…no matter what it takes.”